More school/diet fu

[jauncourt]

I talked to his teacher yesterday afternoon. I don't think anything has been resolved. I am putting a STRONGLY worded instruction in his communication notebook, that he is not to have any candy, sugary snacks of any kind, or any consumable items with artificial colors. I've had to re-word it several times to make it civil.

She denied everything. Said he never eats anything that could be responsible for his poor behavior before the last hour of class, and they never give him anything with food coloring in it.

There's a rule that everything sent to the school HAS to be packaged. this makes it VERY hard to send snacks for him, or treats for special days.

We had a real problem finding something he could take for his birthday, since he'd been talking about it and other kids wanted to know when he'd have his party at school, so he was expecting it. We had to settle for a pack of 12 carrotcake mini-cakes because it was the healthiest "celebration food" locally available. The teacher decided that sugary snacks were OKAY for everyday, because we'd brought those. *I am SO pissed off* I had remind her that I wasn't allowed to bring a home-made, safe option, so I got the best packaged option.

Hopefully we'll be able to bring something better next year, though next year we may well be somewhere we can get organic baked goods.

Chris took FX out to breakfast today, and FX told Chris that he was routinely given candy as a reward for going potty. CANDY as a reward for going POTTY. That's all sorts of wrong, and it means she lied to me. And he doesn't even need it, because he was completely potty trained before he went to school!

I'm going to schedule a parent-teacher conference ASAP, and try to have my freind, who is a child services caseworker along to advocate for us.

I'm on the end of my rope.

Comments

[flummoxicated.livejournal.com]

That's pretty crappy of them, they aren't following your requests and it's impacting him in the worst way.

[goldsquare.livejournal.com]

Escalate. At once.

If the teacher is telling the truth (possible - but unlikely) you'll want to know.

If the teacher is lying and not following an IEP, everyone should know. It ought to be grounds for dismissal.

[ciorstan.livejournal.com]

*nods* That firm that I was with where I worked with Special Ed counsel? We also did employee disciplinary actions for school and college districts.

Fascinating.

Document everything in writing. The calmer and more cogent your case, the better your result. I would also include a complaint regarding the 'packaged food' requirement-- if your son's required to be on a special diet documented in his IEP, then they jolly well need to facilitate provision of that diet.

[jauncourt.livejournal.com]

I've been doing research. I've got a few articles printed off the web, from a teachers' newsletter. I'm getting all the evidence I can. One of the articles is written by a child psychologist regarding why candy rewards are a poor method of behavior modification.

Also, I'm going to get my husband to write out a statement that HE has a food allergy that causes moodswings/aggression (in his case, processed coconut), and which takes him up to 48 hours to detox from an exposure. I am writing up a statement about FX's food additive/aggression connection, what I've observed, and how long it takes him to recover (between 48 hours and two weeks) from an exposure.

Fortunately, sugary things "only" make it difficult for him to hold still and concentrate on tasks, and cumulatively make it difficult for him to sleep. I'm writing up a statement about that, and including his dental problems and our family history of diabetes/sugar processing issues as a secondary, health-related reason for avoiding excess sugars.

[siderea]

Do you have a MD's say so on any of this? Because (1) legally, they don't have to take your word on it and (2) really, your family medical history is none of their business, and you shouldn't have to be either disclosing that private information nor making your case on that basis.

[jauncourt.livejournal.com]

Thanks for weighing in on this.

We don't have a regular ped anymore, and when I brought it up with the clinic docs, I got blown off (they want to observe him and judge for themselves, but we end up seeing a DIFFERENT doc every time, even when we request one by name). From what I understand, we wouldn't be able to test him for intolerances in any way OTHER than an elimination diet, which we have tried. Eliminating dyes has helped, and keeping sugars at moderate levels has helped, but if the school is providing him with things he never receives at home, then all the work we do, diet-wise, is in vain.

The teacher only seemed willing to work with us once I pointed out that he has dental issues and a family history of diabetes, both of which are reasons to avoid excess sugars in the diet. However, she flat-out denied giving frosted cookies, so I don't even know if she's aware that the aide is giving out candies and other sweets as a reward (and that's a whole other kettle of fish).

It is a good thing I have a week to prepare my case and gather my thoughts, because I am getting agitated even now, discussing this with friends...

I'm going to try to work with them, but if the school refuses to comply with our instructions, we're pulling him, period. Pre-k/early childhood (special ed pre-k) isn't mandatory, I can homeschool until kindergarten, and I've gotten some referrals from the Learning Disability Association for advocacy and homeschooling support.

[jauncourt.livejournal.com]

I'm scheduling the conference to include the principal, absolutely. I'm bringing articles and written statements to back up my assertions.

I know I mentioned his sugar and red dye sensitivity during the IEP meeting, and wrote a small statement about it in the VERY SMALL space provided for other parental concerns. I'll be bringing my copy of the IEP.

Next week is Easter break, and FX gets to detox all week. He's already better.

[goldsquare.livejournal.com]

Perhaps, not just Principal. Head of district special ed, or the state.

Most parents have a problem of a useful IEP. You seem to have a situation where, no matter what the IEP states, you won't get it. I think that may be worse.

A few years ago, I ran into a similar problem - I found out the name of the biggest and scariest child education lawyer in the state. (He wrote the language in the state which covers IEPs). I asked if he would take my case, if necessary.

His name was enough.

[alphasarah.livejournal.com]

*stabbitystab*

[gnomentum.livejournal.com]

Unbelievable.

Still, with a little luck she'll have lied in an attempt to cover herself and will now realise she's messed up and stop going against what she's supposed to. It doesn't make it right, but hopefully it'll forestall further problems.

I agree though - follow it through. This woman should NOT be getting away with this kind of thing. After all FX has no reason to lie (and at his age possibly wouldn't understand the implications of making something like that up) but the teacher most certainly DOES have a reason to cover up.

[kaffee-spinne.livejournal.com]

CANDY as a reward for going POTTY!???

OmG, I am LIVID for you!
Yee fscking gawds.

[jauncourt.livejournal.com]

That article on behavior modification and rewards I found? I found and printed that YESTERDAY, before I even knew about this.

I'm arming myself. I'm certainly not going into this blind.

I cannot believe that the special ed teacher is doing something that stupid. Or I don't WANT to believe it.

[kaffee-spinne.livejournal.com]

I just got an email from my son's teacher telling me if I don't want him being given snacks containing sugar, HFCS or artificial colors/flavors that I need a doctor's note.

ADHD is not even assessed legally til a child is 7 or 8. Hopefully his pediatrician will work with us.

Meanwhile the daycare is making me take up MY time to participate in all these Sensory Integration OT meetings for something that I REALLY don't think is the issue.

Growl.

[parslaanna.livejournal.com]

A friend of mine had to get a doctor's note in order fot her daycare to accept her son in cloth diapers. The note was little more than a scribbled "cloth diapers are okay", but it was enough. Perhaps the same might be true in your case?

[kaffee-spinne.livejournal.com]

I've been informed today that the doctor's note was insufficient as there was no 'medical condition' listed. I was told I can not bring in substitutes.

He was given graham crackers again today when everyone else got cheese crackers. He's not allowed dairy.

Arg.

[jauncourt.livejournal.com]

Aren't you doing an elimination diet to determine if you & Devin might be celiac?

[kaffee-spinne.livejournal.com]

That would cut out WAY to much of our technically dairy/meat-free diet. I was screened for celiac and did not have it. I do believe I have a gluten intolerance however.

But again, betw. the no-meat and no-dairy it is hard enough. I don't want him to be told he can't have any muffins, crackers, pastas, etc. at school. It's bad enough he can't have cheese or yogurt or meat, even tho we eat it at home. All b/c I don't want him eating/drinking non-organic meat/dairy.

[hascouf.livejournal.com]

Unbelievable! We have had to get on our provider about keeping better records, but she never gives him anything not approved.

The food you send for FX has to be prepackaged? As in you can't send leftovers in for lunch. Time to look for a new provider, prepackaged food is just not that good.

[tashabear.livejournal.com]

Most schools don't allow parents to send homemade snacks. Allegedly it absolves the school from liability if the kids get anything they shouldn't, as if parents are going to poison the cupcakes.